What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
