the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
