I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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