New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
