I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
