my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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