Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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