oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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