I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
