So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
