i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How does it feel to date your dad?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
