Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
