stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
