so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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