clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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