he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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