i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
