Will you blow on my dice?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Buhtt sex?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
