my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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