glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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