I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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