I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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