Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
