WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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