"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
