dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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