a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
