My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
