You really coming over, don't trick.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
