It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
