someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
