any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
