my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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