He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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