i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
