i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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