i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
