Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
