Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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