So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish you could order shots online.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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