My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
