You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
