Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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