In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
