well you can't waste a boner
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
third nipple confirmed
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
