we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
