wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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