Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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