I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
