woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
