I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
