It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you never un-have a 4some
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
