ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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