and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
