Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
